| Useful phrases |
| Welcome to the Duffers Golf Club, the Home of the Ordinary Golfer |
wlcm 2 d dfrs glf clb, d hOm ov d ord glfr |
| Please tell the Secretary to stop waving and shouting at me. I'm not using the ladies' tee, I'm playing my second shot. |
pls teL d sec 2 stop wAvN & :-V @ me. Im not UzN d lAdiz tE, Im plAN my 2nd shot. |
| I threw my putter into the pond on the thirteenth, so I'm putting with my two-iron |
I thru my putr N2 d pond @ d 13th so Im putN w my 2IN |
| Your five minutes looking for the ball are up, you know |
yor 5 mins l%kN 4 d ball R ^, U no |
| Missed it by that much! |
MIBTM! |
| The course is closed today for a Society |
d corS iz clOzd 2dA 4 a soc |
| I can't find my ball in the rough or in the trees |
I cnt fnd my bal n d ruf o n d trEz |
| I've run out of balls and we're only playing the seventh! Golf's becoming very expensive! |
Iv run out ov balz & wer onlE plAN d 7th! Glfs becumN vry Xspensv! |
| I can't stand people who come out for a round of golf and then talk to the office on their mobile all day long, can you? |
I cnt stNd Ppl hu cum out 4 a rnd ov glf & thN tlk 2 d ofis on thR mob aL dA lng, cn U? |
| That's quite some hook you've got there! |
datz kwIt sum h%k uve got ther! |
| If anyone has some good advice about how to cure a hook, I'm in the market. Thanks. |
F NE1 hz sum gd advIs abt how 2 cure a h%k, Im n d mrkt. thx. |
| Have you ever tried lining up straight? |
hv U eva trId lInN ^ str8? |
| Could you keep an eye on this one for me please? I'm trying to hit it under ths branch and then through the gap in the leaves over there, and then over the bunker to the green. |
c%d U kEp n I on DIS 1 4 me pls? Im tryN 2 hit it undR DIS brnch & thN thru d gap n d lEvz ^ ther, & ^ d bnkr 2 d grEn. |
| Tomorrow it's ladies' foursomes day. Keep well away from the course. |
2moro itz ladiz 4sumz dA. kEp wel awA from d cors. |
| Don't be rude. Some of my best friends are ladies! |
dOnt B r%d. sum ov my bst frNz R ladiz! |
| The Secretary is being a real pain over dress code. Why can't I wear jeans in the Clubhouse? |
d sec iz BN a rEl pAn ^ dres cOd.Y cant I wear Gnz n d clbhs? |
| Please play through, we're taking our time |
pls plA thru, wer takN R tym |
| Would you like to join us? |
wud U lIk 2 join us? |
| We're playing a singles today. |
wer plAN a snglz 2day |
| I won the medal last week, and now I can't hit anything right. |
I 1 d medl lst wk, & now I cnt hit NEthN rt |
| I think you're in the water |
I thnk Ur n d H2O |
| You must have had more than that. I counted nine, and I didn't see how many you took to get out of the trees. |
U mstv hd mor thn DAT. I cntd 9, & I didnt C how mnE U t%k 2 get out ov d trEz. |
| Same time next week? I'll be getting extra shots. |
sAm tym nxt wk? Il B getN Xtra shts. |
| Why don't you try playing left-handed? You couldn't do any worse. |
Y dont u try plAN lft-hndd. U cudnt do NE wors. |
| What are you doing next Saturday? Fancy a game? |
wot R U doin nxt s@RdA pm? fanC a gAm? |
| I need some help with my backswing. I think I'm getting too flat. |
I nEd sum hlp w my bckswN. I thnk Im getN 2 fl@. |
