Sloop Jean V

Jean is Honorary Life President of the Duffers Golf Club, a position he earned by taking the art of duffing to a new level in 1999 when, requiring only a 6 at the last to win the Open Championship, Jean managed to run up a 7 and subsequently lose in a play off. More recently, he has overcome severe knee problems and is now championing mens' rights by demanding to be given the chance to play in the Women’s British Open, since the Ladies are to be allowed to enter the mens' event. It is high time Jean's fans had an anthem.

Music and words: Traditional (arranged by Brian Wilson)

[If you would like musical accompaniment, please click here]
	They call me the sloop Jean V, I lost it at Carnoustie, Claret Jug was almost in my grasp. Then I went mad, And, man, it was bad, ‘Cos I made a seven, And looked like an arse. My name is Jean Van der Velde, No-one knows how it’s spelt. More famous for what I lost Than what I’ve won… than what I have won. I ought to have won, yeah, yeah, Now I feel so angry, At what I have done. And then I buggered my knee, Which required surgery. But now that’s done, playing golf Is so much more fun. Open Champion, That’s what I should have become, yeah, yeah, Well I feel so angry at what I have done. My name is Jean Vandevelde, No-one knows how it’s spelt. I’m more famous for what I lost Than what I’ve won… than what I’ve won. I ought to have won, I should have won. Why couldn’t I just have won, I feel so angry at what I have done. I want to play with the girls. I’ll have my hair done in curls, I’ll wear a kilt and I’ll shave The hair off my legs. Place in the sun, Why couldn’t I just have won, Sip red wine from the Claret Jug sounds fun. My name is Jean Van der Veld, No-one knows how it’s spelt. I’m more famous for what I lost Than what I’ve won… than what I’ve won. Ought to have won, I really should have won, Well I feel so angry at what I have done.