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I Am Failing (2)
(The Ballad of Hal Sutton - Day Two of the Ryder Cup)
Original music and lyrics by Gavin Sutherland
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[If you would like musical accompaniment, please click here]
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We are failing, we are failing,
On Day Two it's real hard for me.
In the morning, we were storming,
And then along came misery.
They're still flying, how they're flying,
Europe's best from across the sea.
Darren's chipping, no putts lipping,
Westwood's firing off the tee.
And young Casey, he's not fazed see,
Just so bold and fancy free.
Kicked Chad and Jim's butt with that last putt,
All I feel is misery.
During my lunch, had a big hunch,
Tiger Woods was the man for me.
Team him up with Love - fits just like a glove,
But they crashed out by four and three.
Clarke's so spindly, unlike McGinley,
Eats lettuce leaves, just two a day.
That's Darren's diet, we all should try it,
But I-rish he'd just go away.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Westwood's best shots, Westwood's best shots,
Left us staring admiringly.
Haas was nifty, but over fifty,
Just too old, it's plain to see.
[Music repeats here after a moment]
And young Donald, oh young Donald,
All those putts that he has sunk.
It was no fluke as that young Luke,
Kicked the ass of Freddy Funk.
Phil's not pumping, so I dumped him,
He's got new clubs, what a klutz!
Then the foursomes, played him with Dave Toms,
He finally won, he made some putts.
Where is Tiger, where's my Tiger?
Why, he's lurking in the woods.
That Chris Riley made him smiley,
But him and Davis just weren't the goods.
I had high hope, that we'd all cope,
That my players all would gel.
But they're duffing, what a stuffing,
Now I'm in a living Hal.
We are failing, we are failing,
At home again and all at sea.
We are sailing into a slaughter,
And our shame's live on NBC.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Now it's singles, how that tingles,
Here's the game on which we thrive.
But that scoreboard has us all awed,
Europe 11, USA 5!
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To hear Hal's Day One lament, click here. For other Ryder Cup songs,
click here for Colin Montgomerie, or here for Bernhard Langer.
For other songs from The Duffer's Songbook, please click here. |
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