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I Am Failing
(The Ballad of Hal Sutton - Day One of the Ryder Cup)
Original music and lyrics by Gavin Sutherland
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[If you would like musical accompaniment, please click here]
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I am failing, I am failing,
At home again, with my team.
We are failing, at headquarters,
On the greens and off the tee.
They are flying, they are flying,
Europe's golfers across the skies.
Monty's flying, doing high fives,
With his team-mates on the tee.
Can you hear me? Lefty hear me?
Through those dark woods, far away.
I am crying, forever trying,
To stop you hooking off the tee.
Can you hear me? Tiger hear me?
Through the crowd noise far away.
I am dying, forever trying,
To find a partner with whom you'll stay...
We are sinking, Stewart's not sinking,
The clutch putts we really need.
The team is sinking, soon I'll be drinking,
To forget this catastrophe.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Fred is flunking, Fred is flunking,
On the greens, make no mistake.
Fred is flunking, forever dunking,
His approaches into the lake.
[Music repeats here after a moment]
Kenny's pairing, Kenny's pairing,
Didn't work for all to see.
'Cos their foursome was not awesome,
On the greens or off the tee.
But there's Jay Haas - he was top class,
With DiMarco, gave us hope.
But the others, played like mothers,
I felt like hanging Chad from a rope.
Furyk's curious, I'm just furious,
How he and Toms could lose the key
To their game plans, they were shame plans,
So they lost by five and three.
Love was fading, Love was fading,
There it was, for all to see.
Played like Mavis, not like Davis,
And his putts were Davis 'three'.
We are failing, we are failing,
At home again and all at sea.
We are sailing into a slaughter,
And our shame's live on NBC.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Still it's day one, only day one,
So there's hope for you and me.
Things might look up, now Tiger's hooked up,
With Chris Riley off the tee.
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