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I Am Ailing
(The Ballad of Hal Sutton - Day Three of the Ryder Cup)
Original music and lyrics by Gavin Sutherland
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[If you would like musical accompaniment, please click here]
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I am ailing, I am ailing,
I'm in pain for all to see.
For Europe it was plain sailing,
For America, just misery.
Lost by nine points, no divine points,
Just a trashing my team and me.
We are shattered, really battered,
Lost on days one, two and three.
They were trying, really flying,
Europe's finest, from across the sea.
Monty's magic, but Phil was tragic,
Now I'm here in misery.
We are ailing, we are ailing,
At home again yet all at sea.
We have sailed into a slaughter,
And our shame was on NBC.
On the last day, on the fairway,
Things were good but then turned bad.
They did all miss, except Jim and Chris,
Tiger Woods and swinging Chad.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Funk's game stunk and his skills shrunk,
So did Kenny and Lefty too,
Tiger fought well, but now for me Hal,
It's a case of feeling blue!
[Music repeats here after a moment]
What went wrong then, all off song then?
Major winners everywhere.
But under pressure, they had our measure,
And we folded, full of fear.
Bernhard Langer dropped no clangers,
Picked his team and got it right.
Now I'll cry tears, for two long years,
As I stare into the night.
Back in Texas, this has wrecked us,
My reputation blown away.
Mrs Sutton's on the button,
Says it's worse than being gay!
Our selection needs correction,
We need strong men, just like me.
I might be barmy but I'd bring back Arnie,
Even though he's 93.
Now this huge mess is in the world's press,
We've lost four of the last five.
I'm retiring, they must be hiring
Someone else to have a try.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
Oh Lord, to be near you, on the tee.
We are ailing, we are ailing,
At home again yet all at sea.
We have sailed into a slaughter,
And our shame was on NBC.
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To hear Hal's Day One lament, click here. To hear Hal's Day Two lament, click here.
For other Ryder Cup songs, click here for Colin Montgomerie, or here for Bernhard Langer.
For other songs from The Duffer's Songbook, please click here. |
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