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AFT's Open Championship diary |
July 13, 2005; Source: AnyoneForTeeFinal preparations include a graphic warning against the blight of slow play! |
 Everyone knows that slow play is a blight on the modern professional game, with some threeballs taking five hours to complete eighteen holes. Opinions are sharply divided over solutions to the problem, from fines and penalty shots to less draconian, more subtle methods. Ever the innovators, the Royal & Ancient are experimenting with psychological persuasion this week, highlighting around the tented village the dangers that slow play bring.Our first picture (left) shows former European Ryder Cup Captain Bernhard Langer, captured on a particularly bad day, showing the grass quite literally growning beneath his feet and, indeed, all over him.  Our second picture (right) shows American Ben Crane, the notorious slow player implicated in the recent Rory Sabbatini incident on the PGA Tour. Crane appears to have "taken root" in his stance, and subsequent medical and environmental teams proved conclusively that this was in fact the case. "It's all very well being at one with Nature," commented Sabbatini in St Andrews yesterday, "but this was taking things a step too far."The R&A hopes that this approach to the problem will have a beneficial effect on the pace of play this week, but does not rule out sanctions next year if the situation is not improved. "Either that or we'll plant lots more gorse at Hoylake," said Secretary Peter Dawson. "I doubt anyone fancies prickly gorse growing up their legs."  Queueing for the lavatories can be an uncomfortable experience at the Open. Isn't it amazing how long other people seem to take? Are they reading the newspaper in there?Should you find yourself in that excruciating position, cross your legs and sing this little ditty to yourself. Anything to take your mind off pressing matters.  The presence of Jean Van der Velde at St Andrews has led the R&A to take additional measures to ensure the safety of spectators and innocent bystanders, following his wild play hitting into the stands in the 1999 Open at Carnoustie.Notices have been positioned around the course (left) although, with typical R&A delicacy, no mention of the prime suspect is made. We've heard some flowery language used to describe advances in golf equipment technology, but this culinary comparison from Nike spotted in the merchandise tent... well, it takes the cake! |
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 We expected the 'Auld Grey Toun' to be brigthened up by some colourful dressers, but so far the fashion has remained distinctly understated.The best effort to date has been - surprise, surprise - Ian Poulter, with these unusually sober strides for him. We expect him to crank up the trouser style on Thursday, however, when he is due to appear in a pair designed by a BBC viewer in an online competition. For more details of this, and some outrageous designs which, mercifully, he will NOT be wearing this week, click here. To close our first Open Championship diary, we thought you might all enjoy a little bit of Fluff. Here he is, taking it easy on the practice ground on Monday morning. |
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