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USPGA 2nd round - Briny stays afloat! |
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August 14, 2004; Source: AnyoneForTee Beached sailor 'Briny' Baird stays on dry land to challenge great names at halfway! |
 WISCONSIN. Old sea-dog Briny Baird continued to steer a mainly straight course at Whistling Straits on Day 2 and head a diminishing cast of unknowns that made the cut.As disclosed exclusively by Anyone For Tee, Baird (right) is a local sailor who took a wrong turning, ended up beached at Whistling Straits and got to play in the event when Greg Norman dropped out and a PGA official mistook Baird’s battered mast for a three wood. But it was some of the bigger names in the game who were all at sea as 'Cap'n Briny', as he has been nicknamed by the local press (alright then, only by Anyone For Tee, but it’ll catch on...), stormed up the leaderboard. The American sailor turned golfer attracted big galleries drawn by his unusual approach to the game. Instead of 'Fore' he yells Avast you land lubbers' and when his shots are headed for the green he cries out 'Land ho!' When asking for the pin out, he hails to his caddy 'Hoist the spinnaker!'  At eight under after two days, Briny’s a-salt on the US PGA is starting to assume epic journey proportions. With the weather expected to get worse, yet another unknown could be headed for a Major upset. Because of his experience at sea he is at home in all wind conditions, ranging from a force 10 storm to playing downwind of John Daly after a chilli burger or Vijay Singh after a lamb vindaloo.Only a handful of qualified unknowns look to be seriously in the running for the tournament. On 5 under after a 70, Grizzle Oily (Chris Riley – Ed) is well placed - despite his caddy having been forced to ask his name for the second successive day.  Though not an unknown (how could anyone with shirts like that be?) Anyone For Tee’s hope - the patron saint of duffers and loud dressers Duffy Waldorf – continues to enjoy plenty of greens after two salad days left him just 6 off the lead. Geoff Ogilvy, another Anyone For Tee unknown selection, remains in the hunt, also at 3 under. Aussie Ogilvy is described on the US PGA website as a "distant relative of Scotland's King of Bannockburn fame, Robert the Bruce" and is being cheered on at the tournament by Mrs Ogilvy, also known as Roberta the Sheila.  But Anyone For Tee’s 'Unknown of the day' Award goes to Troy Bianca-Jagger (Roy Biancalana! - Ed), possibly the world’s most unlikely-named golfer, photographed at left, who made the cut at one over after a fighting par 72. It was a brave performance from GreenBanana (Biancalana!! – Ed) after the course announcer needed 17 attempts to pronounce his name right on the first tee, after initially introducing him as Roy Bean from Columbia.The only man who might have rivalled Pinacolada (Biancalana!!! - Ed) for the award, Zane Zwemke (I'm afraid that's correct - Ed), sadly shot 72-76 for a four over par 148, three shots over the cut line. Tiger Woods made the cut, just. |
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