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Webster forfeits Italian title as rabbit deemed "unfur equipment"! |
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May 8, 2005; Source: AnyoneForTee 'Hard Cheese' Steve Webster as mind magician's trick costs him Italian Open victory! By AnyoneForTee's Rabbit, Rodent and Ferret Correspondent Norris Bolsov |
MILAN. After waiting ten years for his first win on tour, England’s Steve Webster was sensationally stripped of his Telecom Italia Open title at Castello di Tolcinasco Golf Club near Milan when European Tour officials discovered that he had been playing with "unusual equipment" - a rabbit down his trousers.The tournament carried a first prize €216,660 and the winner's weight (75kg) in Grana Padano cheese, but it was a case of even harder cheese for Webster when he unknowingly put the finger on himself - or rather the rabbit - during his winner's press conference.  Webster, whose previous best results on the European Tour were losing in a play-off to Retief Goosen at the 2001 Madrid Open and four other runner-up spots, had been employing the services of 'mind magician' Jamil Qureshi (pictured left) to boost his game. "It's amazing," he said. "Of course I've under-achieved on Tour. Ten years is a long time and when I look at players who have done well - no names mentioned - I know I am better than them. He's really got me focused. I've seen him every day this week."Commenting on Qureshi's methods, he said: "He can click his fingers and get a rabbit out of your trousers, but we work on feelings when I've played well and it's all about positives, vibes and pre-shot routine. It's just a matter of getting the mind right and Jamil can almost put me under."  No sooner were the words out of his mouth than second placed Anders Hansen, Bradey Dredge and Richard Finch lodged an official complaint. "You can't play a round of golf with a rabbit down your trousers," said Hansen. "A rabbit is an 'outside agency' or 'burrowing animal' under the rules, and you're not allowed to take one round with you." Dredge echoed these remarks. "Apart from that, it's cruelty to animals, not to mention downright dangerous," he said.  European Tour Executive Director George O'Grady and Chief Referee John Paramor were called in to adjudicate, and could only uphold the complait. "However you look at it, a rabbit is just not allowed," said Paramor. "Under rule 6-4, only one caddie is allowed, so carrying round a spare is forbidden. If the rabbit was there for advice he'd fall foul of rule 8-1. But I think we really have to treat this under rule 14-3, which forbids the employment of 'artificial devices' or 'unusual equipment' during play.""I feel sorry for Steve," said O'Grady. "He tried to tell us it was a pet, but were that the case he should have told us in advance, and taken it round on a leash. By wearing the rabbit about his person, he was clearly employing an artificial aid during his swing. I have no choice but to disqualify him, and to declare the three runners-up joint winners by default."  Webster was inconsolable at the news and was last seen chasing his mind magician (who is credited with a "mischievous sense of humour" - see panel below) across the car park and into the trees. Other members of the European Tour who have employed Qureshi are also now under invesitgation with Nick Dougherty (right, in Singapore), winner of the Singapore Caltex Masters in January, at risk of being stripped of his title. This would give the victory to second placed Colin Montgomerie and boost Monty's world ranking into the top fifty, gaining him entry to the rest of the season's major championships.Editor's note: The following is a portrait of Jamil Qureshi drawn from 'Celebrities Worldwide' website and throws light on Steve Webster's unfortunate predicament. A man who believes that 'performing intimate private shows' involves putting rabbits down a man's trousers is clearly ill-suited to the fairways and clubhouses of Europe. "Jamil Qureshi is one of the UK‘s leading ‘new-wave’ mentalist performers. Fresh, cheeky, exotic and imposing - his uniquely charismatic stage-presence and spectacular array of effects have captivated, entertained and uneased audiences across Europe and the USA. "Jamil’s pioneering ‘Mind Shaping’ approach delivers a new form of performance, one that seamlessly blends traditional magic with ultra-modern psychological techniques, such as neuro-linguistic programming, spontaneous trance induction and physiological thought-reading. Yet what really makes Jamil unique is his mischievous sense of humour. This is a show that is truly more than the sum of its parts. "As a youngster, Jamil loved to perform classical magic for family and friends. But as his skills as a magician developed he found himself nurturing a deeper fascination for the enigmatic role of the human mind in the magical process. In later years Jamil researched and gathered together an eclectic mix of tools and techniques under the ‘Mind Shaping’ banner. With these he is now able to navigate the gaps between perception and reality that exist at the boundaries of our consciousness. In recent years Jamil’s close relationship and behind-the-scenes work with other top performers in the field has inevitably led to a professional career of his own. "Jamil is equally at home performing intimate private shows, hosting corporate entertainment events, and performing on-stage to large audiences at major venues." |
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