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Swedes win it for Europe! | ||||
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September 16, 2003; Source: AnyoneForTee World Exclusive "Swede factor" tips Solheim Cup Europe's way!  LODDEKOPINGE, SWEDEN. The defeated U.S. team has blamed the Swede factor for Europe’s triumph in the Solheim Cup - but it wasn’t the Swedish location (Malmo) or crowd that they were referring to, it was the team diet, AnyoneForTee can reveal.  "Can you believe it, they actually forced us to eat swedes," said a tearful US captain Patty Sheehan (left). For the uninitiated, which most of the American players were, a swede is a large root vegetable, similar to a turnip, yellow and purple in colour with yellow flesh - similar in appearance to Craig Stadler with bad bruising. Sheehan complained that the team was offered swedes on a stick instead of canapés at the official opening cocktail on the eve of the event. "Most of the girls were too polite to refuse," said the American captain, "but it played havoc with their digestive systems all night. Swedes are a good source of fibre as our whole team discovered - they were rooted to the... spot half the night." Sheehan alleged that the swede-ish onslaught continued throughout the tournament. "We had swede peas; swede potato; swede corn, even swede white wine, which they pretended was Chateau Yquem," she complained. "They even put artificial swede-ner in our coffee for Christ’s sake!"But the dietary dirty tricks campaign didn’t stop with Swedes serving swedes, Sheehan continued. The Americans faced a barrage of another famous Swedish delicacy throughout the event - Absolut vodka. "On the first day, we noticed something funny about the mineral water that was served on the course", said Sheehan. "Our suspicions grew when Angela Stanford complained of double vision after the opening fourballs and Beth Daniel began singing 'Home on the Range' coming down the 13th. But when we all started hallucinating about Laura Davies, we knew there was something wrong. Some of the girls were in such a state, well..., you should've seen how they left their bedrooms!" | ||||
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 "There’s no question about it", she continued, "they spiked our drinks and I’m not talking golf shoes here." But the complaints fell on deaf ears in the triumphant European camp. European captain - and Swede - Catrin Nilsmark (right) retorted: "If it was Absolut, it was the same for both teams. We just mixed it with ice and lemon and got on with our game. Just like the match result, it was Absolut-ly marvelous. As for the dietary stuff, that’s rubbish - the only thing we could taste was swede revenge."
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