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Norman would deny rights to lefties! |
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February 22, 2004; Source: AnyoneForTee Norman leads with his right as he launches anti-leftie drive |
AUSTRALIA. Former Open champion Greg Norman has slammed golf's authorities for allowing left-handed golfers to play in men's tournaments.The Australian recently called for a change in the rules on the men's tours to end the growing trend of women receiving exemptions to enter events. Now he has taken his campaign one step further with his anti-leftie stance. "I personally don't think it should happen," Norman told an undercover Anyone For Tee reporter while reaching for a cold Foster’s with his right hand after the ANZ Championship. "I think it's a marketing ploy more than anything." "It’s just unnatural," he continued, "it’s like those left-handed hammers they invented. You know why they never sold - because no-one thought of creating left-handed nails." Norman denied he was encouraging prejudice or right-handed chauvinism in the game. "Look, some of my best friends are left-handed. And women? Well, I love them! I just wouldn’t want to play the back stretch of the Masters with one."  At this point, Norman's mother Toini (left), walked by. "G'day son," she greeted him, "are you whingeing again? You're as bad as a bloody Pom!""Aw come on, that's not fair Mum," said Norman, "all I'm saying is I wouldn’t want to play the back stretch of the Masters with a woman - not even with you."  "But I'm very impressed with some of those lefties – Phil Mickelson chokes every bit as well as I ever did – but that’s not the point. I think the... rightful place is that lefties play on their tour and we play on ours. It’s only a question of what’s natural and what’s...er... right." Norman cited the fact that two left-handers have won majors (Bob Charles won the Open in 1963 and Mike Weir the 2003 Masters - Ed.) as proof that the game was in danger of becoming over-run. "Lefties… women. What’s next, an ambidextrous seal? The game is becoming a laughing stock." "Now there’s even talk of a transsexual entering the Australian Women’s Open next month. [Editor’s note: The aptly-named Mianne Bagger, a golfer born in Denmark as a man will create history by playing in the women's Australian Open next month.] Michelle Wie and Mike Weir have got a lot to answer for… and hey, talking of transsexuals, has anyone noticed that their names are kind of similar...?"But Norman’s ultra right conservatism and perceived anti-women stance has met with a grand-slammed response from industry representatives.  Diana ("Di") King, co-founder of women’s golfing bra maker GOBRA ('Supporting Women’s golf for 20 Years') said that the company’s best-selling lines include left-handed brassieres, which have a unique left to right swinging cup action and left-handed underpants, ideal for the man who suffers a natural pull to the left."Mr Norman is simply out of touch with modern trends," said Mrs King. "These items are selling like hot cups… I mean…hot cakes. We believe it's time golfers stood up for their lefts as well as their rights."  "We simply adapted an earlier model we had used for Craig Stadler," said Mrs King, explaining the success of the best-selling ‘Southpaw by GOBRA’ brassiere. "Perhaps Mr Norman should try one on for size while wearing a set of our popular ‘Fore left!’ underpants. We'd have him swinging from the left in no time." |
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