News Archive

On this page you will find all the news items previously posted on Anyone For Tee, in descending order of date. Just click on any headline to go to the original article.

July 25, 2005  Peter Alliss' crowning glory - far from a common-tater!
You love him - or you love to hate him. But now there's no excuse for not enjoying a little Peter Alliss with every meal! After years of research, AnyoneForTee has bred the 'King Peter', the only potato specially tailored to the requirements of golfers. Try a few chips.

July 24, 2005  AFT's Pullingyer Leg prize-winning coverage of the 134th Open
Vile trousers. The scourge of slow play. The urge for a Portaloo. The dangers of Jean Van de Velde. Clairvoyants. Forbidden kisses and victory serenades. It's the AFT Open Championship review!

July 9, 2005  It's Cambo v. Lambo to establish Kiwi supremacy!
Michael Campbell may have tamed a Tiger, but can he silence the lambs? That’s the question being asked in New Zealand golfing circles as his Number One Kiwi status is challenged by the world’s only golf-playing sheep, Sean Fleece!

June 18, 2005  US Open 2005 - All blood, guts and Gore on day two!
Unknown Jason Gore came from nowhere to shoot a blistering 4-under 67 to share the half-way lead, but we can exclusively reveal that the former US Vice President Al Gore’s half brother has a dark secret, and a plan to beat the Bushes this weekend!

June 15, 2005  US Open 2005 - Will we see Woods for the trees?
The second major of the year begins at 7.00am on Thursday over Pinehurst No.2, renowned as one of the toughest golf courses in the world. With thousands of pine trees lining the narrow fairways, driving accuracy is vital. How will Tiger fare with his errant driving? The AFT US Open preview.

June 12, 2005  $1m at stake as 13 enter the Big Brother house!
The ultimate golf reality show begins as 13 top pros enter the house with no hiding place. Can Vijay stomach eleven weeks with Annika? Can Monty stomach the Americans? Can anyone stomach Craig's huge stomach?

May 31, 2005  AFT to give yip sufferers their official 'Open' in 2006!
Our co-publisher has just been diagnosed with the 'double whammy' - yips in his chipping and putting. To raise awareness of this disease, AFT is staging the 'Yipper's Open' in Scotland next year and is releasing a therapeutic song for chronic patients.

May 22, 2005  Players form 'POULTER' to restrain fashion excesses!
Flamboyant dress such as Ian Poulter's Union Jack trousers may soon be a thing of the past, as the professional tours on both sides of the Atlantic form a disciplinary committee to control the spread of loud clothes, deemed a hazard to players' health.

May 8, 2005  Magician's rabbit costs Webster Italian Open title!
Moments after lifting the Italian Open trophy for his first European Tour victory in ten years, England's Steve Webster was stripped of his title when it emerged that he had been playing with a rabbit in his trousers on the advice of his 'mind magician'.

April 30, 2005  He may never win a major - but Monty keeps on trying!
We've often made fun of him, but far from the scenes of his great victories, Colin Montgomerie is trying to get back into the world's top 50 and into the majors. He is in China, he's just shot a 73 and he's tired, but we admire his courage and have written to tribute to the man you love to hate.

April 28, 2005  Michael Jackson had a hand in Europe's Ryder Cup victory!
Candid revelations about the 2004 European Ryder Cup team's victory celebrations, when they were guests of Michael Jackson at his Neverland Ranch, have left a question mark over the 2006 Captaincy as it emerges that Jacko had his hands on more than the trophy!

April 24, 2005  Darren Clarke's trousers are dangerous - official!
Having led the MCI Heritage Classic by six shots after two rounds, Darren Clarke's game got steadily worse as his trousers got louder. Now a leading eye surgeon explains the pathology of Darren's extraordinary collapse. Prepare to ditch those checks forever.

April 11, 2005  Tearful Tiger celebrates his fourth Green Jacket!
After ten major championships without a victory, an emotional Tiger Woods finally clinched his ninth major and his fourth green jacket at Augusta National. He also regained number one spot in the world rankings, so Tiger has plenty to celebrate.

April 10, 2005  Nostradamus prediction reveals 2005 Masters Champion!
As the final day of the Masters begins, a hitherto undiscovered manuscript by 16th century prophet Nostradamus has given scholars strong clues to this year's winner of the Green Jacket.

April 9, 2005  Bush blames anti-sunny insurgents for Masters rain!
President George W. Bush claims to have intelligence proving that anti-sunny insurgents have infiltrated America and are seeking "an erosion of the American fair way" by causing a weather washout at the first major of the year.

April 9, 2005  Anyone For Tee salutes 2005's raining champions!
The Masters is the ninth PGA tournament out of the fifteen played so far this year to have suffered problems with the weather. So how do professionals keep their spirits up in order to be on song when play resumes? They hum a tune or two!

April 5, 2005  Annika wins 5th in a row - and a tribute from AFT!
Annika Sörenstam has won the Kraft Nabisco Championship, the first Ladies' major of the year, for her 5th consecutive LPGA vistory, and can now achieve the 'Sören-slam' by winning all four majors in one season.

March 17, 2005

Padraig and Des give Ireland an early St Patrick's Day!
A remarkable Irish double (and we're not talking Jammyson's) was completed on Sunday by Padraig Harrington and Des Smyth, who within hours of each other captured their first US PGA Tour victories. We celebrate this and, of course, St Patrick's Day.

March 10, 2005  Monty's diet revelations trigger jumbo-sized protests!
Fit and in-form Colin Montgomerie has lost 15kg and climbed 27 places up the world rankings. But his unusual variation on the Atkins diet has left animal welfare groups calling for his hide. Monty is eating elephant!

March 6, 2005  Calendar challenge begins as Sophie strips for Europe!
LET member Sophie Sandolo has thrown down the gauntlet to her American rival Natalie Gulbis with an 'explosive and sexy' 2005 calendar, as Gobra steps in to sponsor a transatlantic challenge for the best calendars in 2006.

March 3, 2005  Mianne's tale to become a Hollywood blockbuster!
Get yourself a Bagger popcorn and settle into your seat. Thanks to AFT, the extraordinary story of a transsexual woman golfer who made it onto the Ladies European Tour is about to be turned into a movie!

January 29, 2005  R&A call in 'Ground Force' to makeover The Old Course!
Audacious plans by golf's governing body mean that this year's Open Championship at St Andrews will see a completely new Old Course, as the BBC's Ground Force team is called in to 'makeover' the Home of Golf.

December 31, 2004  AFT launches a seasonal tribute to Colin Montgomerie!
He can be a miserable so and so, he's bad tempered, he hates the press, and yet we all love him - sometimes. Many think he's his own worst enemy, but this year he was Europe's favourite son. Celebrate Colin Montgomerie, OBE, in true festive fashion with us.

December 19, 2004  Wentworth member sacked for being Page 3 girl!
8 handicap former topless model Liz Hoad has been expelled from Wentworth Golf Club after details of the Sales and Marketing Manager's modelling career were brought to light. But AFT is coming to her rescue, and you can help.

December 5, 2004  AFT reveals gender-bending scandal on tour!
The Chief Executive of the Ladies European Tour, Ian Randell, has been summarily sacked following AFT's revelation that Danish transexual Mianne Bagger (see our story below) is not a woman, but Justin Rose in drag!

November 27, 2004  Danish transexual wins 2005 spot on Ladies' Tour!
In 2005, 37 year old "sexually reassigned" Dane Mianne Bagger, born a man, will make history on her debut on the Ladies' European Tour. But it's been hard work getting there, and we're talking about more than just a couple of lost balls.

November 13, 2004  Can President's leftist policy keep Tiger out of the bushes?
Dismayed at seeing US star Tiger Woods lose his number one spot in the world rankings to Fijian Vijay Singh, newly re-elected President George W. Bush has ordered a radical change to Tiger's swing to put him back at the top of world golf. Tiger has gone left-handed!

October 9, 2004  Anyone For Tee pays a birthday tribute to John Lennon
If John Lennon had lived, he would have been sixty-four this weekend. Does that remind you of anything? Only forty when he was murdered, we think John might have been considering taking up golf with Yoko in their later years.

October 2, 2004  Mixed foursomes for Tiger and Elin as wedding looms!
Tiger Woods has never left home without it, but he'll be leaving bachelorhood behind after this week's WGC Amex Championship at Mount Juliet. We predict he'll marry Elin Nordegren next week, and we even have a sneak preview of their wedding march.

September 28, 2004  The complete Ryder Cup story - from inside the ropes!
After narrowly avoiding a pre-match mutiny, Bernhard Langer led his men to the biggest winning margin in the Cup's 77 year history. And with America deperately searching for a solution, one group has proposed fielding a team of ladies in Ireland in 2006!

September 9, 2004  LPGA Fashion Watch - Your chance to vote!
"Appearance matters, end of story," said LPGA Tour Commissioner Ty Votaw, and AFT's Fashion Order of Merit rewards both the best and worst efforts to glam up the tour. Our latest poll features Christina Kim, a rising star at just 20. Take a look at Christina's unusual outfits.

August 17, 2004  Vijay scores surprise win as unknowns fail at USPGA!
The final Major of the year saw a doping scandal and a playoff victory for Vijay Singh over fellow notables Leonard and DiMarco, as the leading unknown player failed by one shot to cause another upset. Read our daily reports.

August 7, 2004  Natalie Gulbis calendar inspires golf glamour boom!
A new glamour calendar featuring LPGA beauty Natalie Gulbis wearing, among other things, a bikini has got the fans in a frenzy and the USGA in a sweat. It has also sparked some unexpected reactions from other golfers.

August 1, 2004  Disaster averted as loose Tiger prowls New York woods!
The escape of a zoo tiger nearly ended in tragedy for the world's number one golfer this weekend. From the woods of Central Park, the exclusive story of how Tiger narrowly avoided being shot by a confused NYPD patrolman.

July 20, 2004  The Open: Ted Hometown scores another unknown victory!
Ted Hometown (Todd Hamilton - Ed) has carried off the 2004 Open, striking another blow for the unsung journeymen of golf. Read our daily reports of how Tom (Todd- Ed), Thomas and Trousers dazzled the golfing world.

June 20, 2004  US Open report - Players outraged by USGA set-up!
The US Open at Shinnecock Hills caused turmoil in the golfing world, and not only because of the almost impossible playing conditions.

June 11, 2004  Lightning pulls the plug on Monty's Gleneagles charge!
An electrical storm has left Scottish Ryder Cup star Colin Montgomerie with a flat battery at the Diageo Championship, but not before his greased lightning temper sent the sparks flying with officialdom.

June 8, 2004  The Official World Hair Fashion Rankings
In today's professional game, playing well is only half the battle. The player must look the part as well, and the World Hair Fashion Rankings now recognise the importance of personal grooming. Find out who is world no. 1!

June 5, 2004  Bush fires - PGA Chief Executive victim of political heat!
President George Bush has achieved regime change – but not the regime he wanted. The golfing and political worlds are in turmoil after the USPGA's CEO and a famous dead Singing Cowboy are sacked for mistakes in Iraq policy.

May 31, 2004  Vijay loves it, but Ernie finds chip-yip cure hard to stomach!
AFT's courageous campaign to help sufferers from the chipping 'yips' is producing results, with help at hand thanks to a revolutionary new belly chipper by Gobra.

May 30, 2004  Members find ball-eating Alsatian hard to swallow!
There has been much bitching from the members at Didsbury Golf Club since the discovery of 28 golf balls in the stomach of the bar manager's female German Shepherd - a modern day Hound of the Basket of Balls!

May 24, 2004  Golfer snatches de feet from jaws of a crocodile!
Something snapped on a luxury Malaysian golf course this month as a crocodile attack caused a local player to count Lacoste of an afternoon's enjawment. "It was almost an arm and a leg!", he said.

May 3, 2004  US unearths Saddam's weapons of mass destruction!
After a year of fruitless searching, the US administration in Iraq has at last found the ex-dictator's secret WMD cache - at Baghdad's exclusive Saddam Hussein Golf and Country Club!

April 5, 2004  Harley Street Professor reveals early chip-yip findings!
The AFT-sponsored global foundation to conquer the debilitating golf disease of chip-yipping is barely one week old, but already results are filtering through.

April 5, 2004  Threat to Masters field as Tiger is paired with "freaks"!
The presence of the world number 1 at the first major of the season is in doubt after TV ratings pressure sees him paired with three 'unusual' playing partners.

March 28, 2004  "Yipped chips to go" say AFT publishers
Chipping yips may soon be a thing of the past thanks to a new foundation. ITTTTTTCYA will study the disease and work towards a cure.

March 25, 2004  Monty wins again and says "It's all in the underpants"
After a 16 month drought on the European Tour, Colin Montgomerie tells us how radical new equipment by Gobra has helped to turn his game around.

March 17, 2004 We celebrate St Patrick's Day!
A little Irish quiz to test your knowledge - it's too late to enter, but see if you can answer the question.

March 14, 2004 Golfing sheep deb-ewes down under!
After ladies and 14 year old girls take on the men, there is further sensation in New Zealand as a cloned sheep prepares its pro golf debut.

March 10, 2004  You may think you've never seen a kiwi in the flesh...
New Zealanders 'discover' Anyone For Tee - in their thousands!

March 9, 2004  Englishman takes World Sand Golf title - Irishman takes large desert divot - Frenchman fails to find water
Greg Owen won the first World Sand Golf Championship in Abu Dhabi with a course record 64, and was full of praise for the brownkeepers.

March 7, 2004  Governor of Svalbard has AFT's man thrown in the chiller!
After a frightening night in jail, Archie Pelago is sentenced to a month's community service for breaking the "Common Sense Rules for Svalbard".

February 29, 2004  AFT goes off course in the frozen north!
AFT's intrepid Nordic correspondent Archie Pelago decided to test the course for himself. But it turned out to be anything but a dry run.

February 24, 2004  Drambuie On Ice preparation hots up!
The 2004 Drambuie World Ice Golf Championship will take place in Spitsbergen from April 1 to 3.

February 22, 2004  Abu Dhabi boldly goes where no pro has gone before
We have further details of the first-ever World Sand Golf Championship and demonstrate true grit by playing the first nine holes of the Al Ghazal course!

February 22, 2004  Norman would deny rights to lefties!
After opposing invitations for women to play in men's events, Greg Norman is turning his fire on the growing number of left-handers on the world's tours.

February 8, 2004  French lay claim to invention of golf! Scots are outraged!
Could The Open become Le Open? Maybe, if the French succeed in rewriting history with their claim to have invented golf.

February 2, 2004  32 top European pros to battle in world's largest bunker!
Abu Dhabi is about to host the world's first pro-am golf tournament to be played entirely on sand.

January 18, 2004  US Marsters gets little green light!
President Bush tells NASA to put men on Mars - and allow them to play tournament golf.

January 15, 2004  Bugs Bunny leads New Zealand Open!
On his first professional appearance, Bugs Bunny of Melbourne shot a brilliant 64 with eight birdies and just 26 putts to share the first round lead.

December 6, 2003  Taipei to be Asia's golf fashion capital!
Six-time European Tour winner Jarmo Sandelin opens a factory in Taipei to bring cutting-edge fashion to Asia.

November 30, 2003  US tourist kills haggis in Scotland!
An Anglo-US diplomatic incident is narrowly avoided as a rare wild haggis is killed at Gleneagles before the hunting season was open!

November 24, 2003  Watt's brewing with Monty?
The secret cause of Colin Montgomerie's notorious temperament is revealed - he can't help it! As a descendant of James Watt, steam is in his genes.

October 15, 2003  AFT joins forces with OB! Magazine
Read the first issue of OB! Magazine, packed with golfing celebrities and all the hot gossip from the world of golf.

September 28, 2003  Golfers get that sinking feeling!
Global warming is turning bunkers across Europe's finest golf courses into quicksand and causing fairways to collapse.

September 16, 2003  Swedes win it for Europe!
"Swede factor" tips Solheim Cup Europe's way!

September 7, 2003  It's driving Tiger crazy! Can you help?
Driven to desperation, Woods asks fans to get him back on the straight and narrow

August 31, 2003  Cattle grazing rights are moo-t point
Steaming row erupts as cows get free drop on greens!

August 25, 2003  It's official: Marriage improves your golf!
What a week for Curtis! Best pro round Thursday, arrested Friday, married Saturday and just misses a 69 on Sunday

August 19, 2003  USPGA - Reports from all four days
Read the full story of unknown Slim Michelob's (Shaun Micheel - Ed) surprise victory in the fourth Major of the year, including the extraordinary events leading up to Colin Montgomery's arrest

August 14, 2003  Poulter keeps his hair on - and wins!
Dyeing moments win Poulter Hairdo of Merit Award as he also takes Nordic Open in dying moments

August 11, 2003  Win $28,500,000 with AFT !
Your chance to share a $28.5m. windfall!

August 9, 2003  Gobra set to land Tiger deal!
Third candidate emerges to put the driver in Tiger's bag – a company best-known for manufacturing sporting bras!

August 2, 2003  Poulter - hair today, gone tomorrow
Top European golfer banned for hair-brained antics

July 25, 2003  Streakers interrupt US and British Opens
Publicity-seeking streakers disrupt Majors - website owners admit responsibility

July 24, 2003  Roe disqualification blamed on Parnevik "unfair" trousers
Disqualified golfer calls for change to "blatantly unfair rules" that allow Swedes to break sartorial traditions

July 14, 2003  "Royal St. Georges ... kind of funky"
Pride in Sandwich as Tiger gives Royal St. George's the ultimate accolade

July 9, 2003  Secret of Duval "slump" revealed!
2001 Open Champion is a multiple major winner - as a woman!

July 2, 2003  Extinct giant bird reappears in Scotland
First Moa sighting in 500 years as UK pro fires 12-over par 17 at Gleneagles!

June 17, 2003  Kournikova to switch to LPGA Tour !
"Not being able to hit the ball never held me back at tennis" says Russian glamour puss - Gobra agrees sponsorship deal

June 11, 2003  Is Tiger losing it?
Major concerns ahead of US Open as golf world wonders if Tiger can maintain his focus

May 26, 2003  Martha v Hootie: Hootie is 1 up
The 4th at Augusta, the first par 3, calls for tough choices, as the feminist lobby grows in strength

May 26, 2003  Sad climb down as 'World's Highest Tee' experiment abandoned
Man avoids frozen balls after golfing career fails to peak

May 21, 2003  Martha v Hootie: Hootie is 2 up
Will the seemingly straightforward short par 4 3rd halt another promising start?

May 18, 2003  Martha v Hootie: Hootie is 1 up
Augusta's 2nd, the first par 5, makes power a factor

May 16, 2003;  Martha v Hootie: 1st hole
"Battle of the Sexes" off to a nervous start at 1st hole

May 13, 2003;  Martha v Hootie showdown on the tee
Augusta “Battle of the Sexes” computer showdown is programmed and ready

May 9, 2003  Annika at the Colonial - we reveal all! The truth behind the tears
Annika had cooked up something to make even Vijay sing, but her black bikini by Gobra curried no favours at the PGA

May 9, 2003;  No hard cheese for Monty in Italy
Grönberg is the big cheese at Italian Open, but no grating remarks from 2nd place Monty

May 6, 2003;  Yips to go - hold the Mayo
Sports Clinic to host putting tournament for Yippers

May 4, 2003;  Ladies fourball or mixed foursome?
Gender bender ruling spells "T" for transsexual - but begs the question "Which tee?"

April 28, 2003;  Kuehne's spitting image exceeds all expectorations
Hank Kuehne storms ahead in the Phlegmish Masters

April 20, 2003;  Old Course hosts professional Scotch Opening
12 year old single malt whisky is launched to help fund preservation of St Andrews

April 20, 2003;  Saiki logically wins most fashion plaudits - Kung few
Kim Saiki wins inaugural LPGA Fashion Order of Merit poll as tournament winner Candie Kung comes in last.

April 16, 2003;  Howell !!! tops Order of Merit after Masters
Charles Howell III has made a stunning start in the AnyoneForTee Order of Merit for best and worst dressed professional golfer in the world.

April 14, 2003;  Dutch courage "led" the Masters
Now revealed - a Martha cohort "was leading" the Masters after the rained off first day

April 14, 2003;  Drambuie on Ice
Ice men don't cometh as Drambuie event called off - unnatural wind conditions blamed.

April 12, 2003;  Howell !!! takes early lead in Fashion Awards
Diamonds are a boy's best friend for Howell, as he heads both best and worst dressed lists after Round One.

April 10, 2003;  Computer to decide Augusta showdown
Rain forces cancellation of the Burk-Johnson match, so a computer will simulate the outcome.

April 8, 2003;  Protection order slapped on "endangered" Alliss
Just because he occasionally upsets people, we cannot afford to lose this national and sporting treasure.

April 8, 2003;  Dental inspiration helps root golfers to the spot
One of the UK’s most eccentric inventors has developed a revolutionary new golf tee.

April 7, 2003;  That was no triple bogey - you just shot a grouse!
Read about the biggest shake-up in golf's scoring system in over a century.

April 7, 2003;  Masters or Martha's?
Burk and Johnson to go head to head over 18 holes on Wednesday at Augusta National to decide the Battle of the Sexes.