Duffers Golf Club - The Virtual Clubhouse

Bear the name of Duffer with pride - but do you know the significance of the coat of arms? Click here to find out.

"Golf is the Esperanto of sport. All over the world, golfers talk the same language - much of it nonsense and much unprintable - endure the same frustrations, discover the same infallible secrets of putting, share the same illusory joys." - Henry Longhurst

It's , and you have just entered the virtual Clubhouse of the DGC. Our membership already includes Duffers from every corner of the globe and, since there are more Duffers than any other category of golfer, we hope that the DGC will rapidly have the largest membership of any golf club in the world. Come in and make yourself at home.

We wish a very Happy New Year to all our readers!

The Duffers Golf Club sends its best wishes for 2004 to golfers and their families everywhere. We also invite you to join us for the Duffers Golf Club annual New Year's Eve Dinner & Dance. You'll enjoy a sumptuous menu and superb whines. Find out more by clicking here.

Macau Country Club is stage for second Travel Retail Chapter meeting

Members of the Travel Retail Chapter of the DGC were the guests of FD & Captain Antares Cheng for the recent Travel Retail Friendship Club Open, held at the Macau Country Club late last month.

Confirming there is hope for duffers everywhere, Irishman FD David Spillane recorded his first-ever success in any walk of life when he won the event, to loud cries of "Bandit". Read the full report, together with the photos we can safely publish, by clicking here.

So what are you waiting for to form your own DGC Chapter, and try to do worse?

The D.G.C. Handbook

Find out how to get the most out of your virtual Golf Club. If you have any questions, please just ask.

Handicaps

Official handicapping systems are too complex for our liking, and ignore the realities of golf as played by Duffers. So while we agree with the aim of those systems - to enable play between golfers of different abilities - we have adapted them to suit our members' style of play.

If you already have an official handicap we shall convert it to a Duffers handicap for use in play between Fellow Duffers. If you don't have one, either because you do not belong to a club, or because your scores are outside the range admitted by the official system - no problem! We will give you a Duffers handicap.

Check your Duffers handicap against the official system by clicking here, and to find out how the system works, click here.

Levels of DGC Membership

You are now a Fellow Duffer, but higher levels of membership are open to you, either through your golfing prowess (or lack of it), or for outstanding services to Duffing.

You could be a Master or Supreme Duffer, or even Rex Dufferorum! See how by clicking here.

Set up a DGC Chapter

The Club exists to bring together Duffers to enjoy the game of golf and good company in an atmosphere of mutual understanding and support, away from the pressures of our lower handicap brethren and their "talentist" approach to the game.

We are an international fellowship, but most of our golf must be played at the local level, so why not get together with some Duffer friends in your area or at your office, and form your own chapter of the DGC?

More details about this and the organisation of the DGC here.

The Changing Rooms

The Ladies' and Men's Changing Rooms are, as you would expect, private areas, off limits to the opposite sex. Members are kindly requested to respect this.

Noticeboard

In future, to enter the DGC directly, just type www.duffersgolfclub.com into your browser, or you can click on the DGC crest on the Anyone For Tee pages.

Anyone For Tee? Use the menu on the left, or just click here.

Now you're a member, why not form your own DGC Chapter with Fellow Duffers at your club or in your office? Get more details here.

Ladies! We want a strong Ladies' section, so why not form a Dufferettes Chapter and hold your own competitions, or play against the men?

Duffers handicaps are available for every member, regardless of ability. See column at left, or click here for more details.

Parents! We believe that junior golfers can avoid Dufferhood, so we will not admit members under 18 years old. Our Pro Shop will however be featuring products we recommend for you to help your children on their way to golfing success.

New equipment is everywhere, but has it helped your game? If so, please let us know about it, and we will tell your Fellow Duffers. Who knows, we may even be able to negotiate some good deals for you!

Been given a good golf tip lately? If it worked for you, why not tell us, so we can all try it out?

The Duffers Divot Awards will recognise outstanding achievement in Duffing. See how you can qualify.

Hungry? Our Dining Room will have delicious Duffers dishes for you, hot and cold. Opening soon.

Feel like a drink? Drop into our well stocked Bar to relax and celebrate a good round, or perhaps recover from a bad one. Open soon.

Do you have a heroic Duffing story to tell (true, of course), or better still a photo? Share it with us, and you could win an award, and perhaps even be the Duffers Hero of the Year.

The truth hurts...
Duffers know that, however painful, golf is good for the soul. Here are a few variations on that theme.

Click on the box if you don't want to wait for a new quotation.

The D.G.C Hole in One Award

It's the ultimate golf shot, perfection in sport. But whether you achieved it with a sublime six-iron that bounced a foot beyond the hole and screwed back in, or a horrible thin that stung like crazy, hit the flag and dropped in the hole, we'll acknowledge it, and give you a special prize to remember it by!

So, if you hole in one, make sure your playing partners let us know.

Duffer or hacker?

The Duffer is the backbone of the game. The hacker is a blight on the good name of golf.

How well can you tell them apart?

The D.G.C. Tour

These guys are bad!

Once we have recruited members in different parts of the world, we plan to organise tournaments exclusively for Leading Duffers who have won their local Chapter competitions. The winners will become their national champion, and be known as Master Duffers.

We shall then hold an international competition for Master Duffers, and are already exploring some exciting venues for this prestigious event. The winners will become Supreme Duffers, and be eligible to play for the ultimate honour of Rex Dufferorum.

Don't forget that Anyone for Tee continues to provide up-to-the-minute news from around the world, as well as counselling for the golfingly challenged from our very own Aunt Lucy. Does a Duffer you know have a birthday coming up? Let AFT help you find the ideal gift.

Read your golfing horoscope, enter a quiz, read about the latest fashion (good and bad) and pick up precious tips to help your game. And, if the weather's too bad for golf, why not play one of our indoor games? It's all available on Anyone for Tee.

A brief history of Duffing

Duffing has existed for as long as the game of golf, indeed probably predates it, because our ancestral primate's first attempt at a fluent drive almost certainly careered into the thick stuff.

In a series of articles, we shall explore Duffing through the ages, from the prehistoric jungle to Jean Van der Velde.

Watch out for part 1: 'The First Duff'.

The DGC's Hall of Fame

As Duffers, we take comfort in the less successful moments of our heros, the pros. For a shot or two they seem to play like us, before resuming their 'normal' game, to which we can in no way relate.

We shall be reliving some great moments in Duffing (such as David Tom's splendid 8 on the final hole of the recent Wachovia Championship, above), and welcome your suggestions for entries to our Duffing Hall of Fame.