| You oversize beauty - love your sweet spot. Thumper |
| Twitchy: Let's p-practice our s-s-s-strokes together. BMV. Y-y-yippy |
| Fluffy headcover loves Big Red. |
| Granny Clark! Can I wynd you up? Andrew |
| Buttered Scones - Another year, another failure in the Winter Greensomes. Shall we make it ten in a row? Strawberry Jam |
| Pothunter - I could take a shine to you. What say you let me polish your silver? BMV. Trophy blonde |
Mashie Niblicky Baffy Thingy - Happy Valentine from your Cleeky Spoony Pies.
PS. I've blindfolded the dog. |
| Come home! All is forgiven. From now on it's to hell with the straight and narrow - I like a bit of rough. On the 1st tee, waiting for you. Popsox |
| Swinger - My pencil is sharp. Your course or mine? Scorer |
| If the lady who left an item of intimate apparel in my jacket pocket during last year's Barnham Broom G&CC Valentine's Ball would care to contact me, she may be interested to know that as a result of that evening I am no longer encumbered by the bonds of matrimony. Call G. on 07743 966 912. |
| Tight pin position - I love a challenge. Wanna give me a shot at it? Divine Nine |
| Barmaid. See you in the 19th, and have I got a surprise for you! Definitely not "the usual". BMV. Barfly |
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| Chunky Chips - want to practice off a bare lie? Your place or mine? Chilly-dip |
| Gracious swan - you glide across the pond of my life but I'm too shy to swim up to you. Give me a sign. I'll be in the hut behind the sixth green till sundown. Ugly duckling. |
| FOREPLAY: Enough of all this practice - let's get out on the course. BMV. Lxxx |
| Butch - told you so. T. |
| I've been everywhere, man! But I'm taking lessons. The Johnny Cash Appreciation Society's 17th Valentine's Day Mixed Foursomes and Dinner/Dance will be held at St Quentin's-on-the-Wye GC at 2pm sharp. This year's password: "Crater Lake - For Pete's sake". Ira Hayes |
| Champagne? Why not send a bottle of personalised bubbly to your golfing Valentine? Better than any card and includes up to 25 words lovingly laser-printed on the label at no extra cost. Guaranteed delivery on V-Day or your money back anywhere within the M25. Non-vintage Veuve Cleeko just £55, Pink £65, vintage (2000) £85. Call 0845 973 966. Credit cards only. |
| Nice recovery! But if you do it again, I'm walking in. You have been warned. Arabella (38-35-73) |
| Nudge Nudge. Say no more. Know what I mean?. BMV, 18th green, 4.15. Wink Wink |
| Pussycat. Doing anything after your round? I'm free until late. Owl |
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
If you ignore me again,
My heart will be too.
You know who you are. BMV. Let me carry your bag forever. Flat feet |
| Titleist 3 - Yes. 8 o'clock. Casual. Bottle of each please. The Aviator? We'll see. Afraid so. Callaway 1 |
| J-L. Forty froggy kisses for my funny furry Frenchman. BMV. Ribbit |
| Potter's Bar - Send Harry home at once! He's underage. Plenty of ginger beer here. Hermione. |
| Crosshanded - what would it take to make you uncross? Please let me try again. M. |
| Rub of the green. No relief permitted. Not that I wanted any. BMV. Outside Agency |
| Titanium Insert: my Coefficient of Restitution is off the graph. Got any more tricks like that? Grrrrr-aphite |
| Studmuffin - Yes!!! K. |
| Half of bitter - we were meant for each other. I knew it the day you changed your packet of salt & vinegar to cheese and onion, just for me. Don't be shy. Please call. Tia Maria |
| Loose impediment seeks moveable obstruction with view to Valentine's Day singles. Shots galore! No penalty for O/B just this once. 07714 326 118 and ask for Alan. |
| Cuddlezzz - Extra ration for V-Day? See you at tee-time. Huggy Bear |
