| Big Bertha: You drive for show, you putt for dough. BMV. Scotty Cameron |
| Right Hand: I'm tired of overlapping - let's interlock. BMV. Left Hand |
| Four hour round. Glad you called me through. Same time, same place? |
| Big Sleazy - be mine, or Els! |
| Tight Lie - I've had my driver reshafted. You won't believe the difference! Give me another chance. Fluffy. |
| Silver Goblets - we are just the best at foursomes. Shall we team up for life? BMV. Boxing Day Salver |
| Pink Pringle - our eyes met across two fairways but I knew it had to be you from now on. Too shy to approach you in the bar. My number's in the book. Call me please and BMV. Navy Dryjoys |
| Keep It Simple Stupid! Last chance. BMV. Tempo. |
| Tortoise - I never thought I'd enjoy a five hour round. I'm not letting anyone else through. BMV. Ex-Hare |
| Would the gentleman who called himself "The Masked Mashie" at the Nuneaton G.C. Valentine's Ball in 1985 kindly contact me on 07771 305 224? Your daughter, now 18 years old, would like to meet you. |
| Ms. No - With your irons and my putting, we could set Cambridgeshire alight. How about it? BMV. Odyssey |
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| Chilli-dip - Nobody ever duffed like you. Luv Chunky chips |
| My Monty Grumps - come and let off steam with me. No cameras, no mobiles. Just you and me, promise. You know who. |
| Popsox: You holed my heart in one and now I can't repair the pitchmark. BMV today and forever. Bumpy green. |
| 2 up and 5: You're a loser but I'm hooked. Come and pay me my winnings. XS. |
| The mud and the blood and the beer. The Johnny Cash Appreciation Society Valentine's Day mixed foursomes will be held at Wold Park GC (exit Junction 28 off M25) at 2pm, followed by dinner/dance. This year's password: "My name is Sue. How do you do?" S. Quentin |
| H.R.H. - will you drive yourself in today? The chance may not come round again. The cannon's loaded, it just needs you. R&A |
| Scorekeeper: "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, So's a 72." BMV. Scratchman |
| Strong right hand - show me again how you do it! BMV. Happy Hooker. |
| Martha. We can't go on like this - let's talk it through. Dinner at Sweet Georgia Brown's? Hootie. |
| Nudge Nudge. Same again, know what I mean? Word to the wise, BMV, 10th tee, 4pm. Wink Wink. |
| Yipper - ILY, even if you can't putt. Let's twitch again, like we did last summer. BMV. Chubby |
| Wild thing - can't wait to grip it and rip it and explore the trees again. High tee |
| R. The wheels have come off! Come and help me find them. BMV. J-L. |
| Harry - BMV and take me for a ride on your broomstick. Cho |
| Allez Jean! You are ze best!! I love your froggie's legs!!! Let's take our shoes and socks off and paddle in life's Burn together. Ribbit. |
| Justin - you can rip my bodice any day and I don't care who sees us! BMV. Janet |
| Tiger: show me your Stinger again! 2-iron |
| Studs - I've tried, but soft spikes and pimples just don't grip me. Come home and try again, all is forgiven. |
| Barfly. Skip the 19th, I've got what you need at home. BMV. Barmaid. |
| What's a nice girl like you doing on a day like this? Nothing? Me neither. Let's do it together. Call me on 07743 966 912. You've got nothing to lose! |
