| Anything Personal? |
| Chunky chips. Enough of paying green fees at life's golf club - I want us to be full members. Prove to me I'm not just your bit of fluff! Luv Chilli-dip |
| Ivor Shank wishes it to be known that he has changed his name by Deed Poll to Justin Bounds. |
| "Wherein we strive, oft unapplauded, the better to perform. Alas, to no avail." Please send dozen golf balls (Pro-Vs?). G. |
| Dolly. Molly lolly. Bolly - jolly folly. Golly, holly! Polly |
| John Daly seeks Laura Davies for long drives together down life's fairways. Occasional excursions into the rough inevitable but you would understand - we both know life's a gamble! Ref 26/07. First time ad. |
| OK m8, c u @ 1st t Strdy 9.15, sngl am, 4bl pm w Mk n Kn. R u up 4 dnr? Brng d wf 2. PS im ptng x-hndd! |
| Would the gentleman who hooked his drive into my front garden beside the 14th fairway and smashed my wife's favourite garden gnome please make himself known to me, as I would like to buy him a drink. 07740 331 824. |
| Hooker. Love that strong grip! Your bit of rough xx. |
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| Anyone for Tees? |
| Size matters in a tee peg! If you have a 460cc driver you need to try the 'Towering Infernally' tee from 19th Hole Golf Aids Ltd - at 4¼ inches it's a devil of a good tee. Guaran-teed to have you up there with the best! Just £7.99 for a bag of 50 (white only). 'Tee it high and watch it fly!'. |
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| Anyone for Tones? |
Give the golfer in your life a ringtone to be proud of! Guaranteed to impress on the train or in the office! Choose from our extensive collection which includes:
- You da man! (3041)
- Fore! (3026)
- Nice shot! (3075)
- Applause (3002)
- Get in the hole! (3066)
- Nice birdie! (3048)
- Wow! (3010)
- Beautiful drive! (3212)
Just call 0906 110 6207 and input the four digit code when asked. The ringtone will be sent straight to your phone! £5 per call. |
| Anyone Louder? |
| FORE! The Grand Old Stentorians Society gives notice that its 89th annual gathering will be held on Salisbury Plain on June 19th at 12 o'clock sharp. GOS George Wilberforce will be defending his 2006 title and European record of 113 decibels upwind at 200 yards. Contestants please register with the Secretary by midnight on May 31st. We are once again pleased to thank our friends at Strepsils for their kind sponsorship. |
| Anything for Sale? |
P**, p** and putt? Do you hate wasting time on life's inconvenient little chores when you could be practicing your golf? Not any more, thanks to the PUTTALOO pedestal and imitation Bermuda grass mat.
Now time on the can can be time well spent! Ian P. of Milton Keynes says "Thanks to Puttaloo, I can stroke it while I choke it!" To order, write to Puttaloo Products, PO Box 37, Dumpton Green, Staffs, or call 02371 910911. Only £99.95 plus p&p (that's postage and packaging!). Balls, putter and magazines not included. |
| Carraway FT-i! Unbeatable prices on hottest square driver. We have cornered the market! Also selling Titerist golf balls and Deng Xiao Ping irons. Plus we have latest designer golf bags, lovingly hand-stitched by Indonesian schoolchildren. Choose from Lewis Witton, Johnny Versace, Goochi, Channel, Rolf Lauren, Lowcoste, Burbelly or Jimmy Shoes. Pray Where Eagles Soar! Write Huang Kaibo (Mr.), Shanghai Eagle Trading Co. Ltd. My Email: golf4@shanghai-eagle.cn |
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| For sale: Anti-slice driver. Almost new - only two shots hit, both sliced. Ref. 28/07. |
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| Anyone for Monty? |
We are majorly in love with Monty! Want to join us?
We'll be meeting for a scowl and a slouch at Carnoustie, so get that wig, print that T-shirt and join the ranks of the Monty Fan Club! You might even get your picture taken with the great man, if we can get near him with a camera!! |
| Anyone for Work? |
| Wanted! Nostril chipper testers (belly chippers for small golfers). Must be below 5ft 3in (1m60) tall, and afflicted with chipping yips. Contact Bonnie King (bonnie@gobra.co.uk) in strictest confidence. Fully approved by ITTTTTTCYA Foundation. Ref 27/07. |
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| Future major championship venue seeks qualified head greenkeeper. Must be adept with the rough and the smooth. Sadistic streak a definite advantage. Write c/o AFT, quoting ref 30/07. |
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| Anyone for Lessons? |
| Phil Mickelson's putting primer. If you're still taking three putts from five feet - so's Phil! But you too can learn to smile through it all. Buy Phil's book and learn how to miss with dignity. (Hardcover edition has green jacket.) Only £24.95 from 19th Hole Books Ltd. |
| Bending it like Beckham? I have the ultimate slice cure. Wear the "Slicelock" for just one weekend during play and you will never slice again! (Not suitable for men/juniors still expecting to start a family). Ref 29/07. |
| "Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." It's all in your head! Straighten out your mental game with the 'mind-guru' to the stars - Just Vandeloot. Write to just@anyonefortee.com in strictest confidence. All major credit cards accepted. |
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