| This is Anyone For Tee's Classified Advertisements page for September 2003. To place your ad, get rate information and quantity discounts and for all general enquiries, please contact our Sales Manager by e-mail on derek@anyonefortee.com. To reply to an ad or to purchase goods or services please e-mail classified@anyonefortee.com, quoting the reference number of the ad in the subject line.
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| Anything Personal? |
| I'm fed up with going round on my own. Lady, divorced, mid-forties, 19 handicap, presentable if not a beauty, seeks lifelong partner to share fairway and rough. Let's just play a friendly first before we decide if we want to mark a card together. Write to AFT ref 2/03. |
Unplayable lie WLTM dropping zone, GSOH, for mid-week singles. Two shots a side wanted. Discretion guaranteed. Yippers need not apply. Ref 6/03.
PS. The 19th is on me! |
| Great Big Bertha is looking for smooth swinger to share long drives in the country. 1st time ad. Ref 7/03. |
| J-L. Rule 14-2a applies, Tuesday, usual place. R. |
| If the gentleman who lost a Titleist no. 3 with the "Hell Fire Club" logo in the rough behind the 15th green at Lyttlestone Park would like to write quoting ref 17/03, he may learn something to his benefit. |
| Inveterate hooker seeks dedicated slicer with enormous banana, with a view to going straight. Write quoting ref 37/03 - serious only please, jokers abstain, I know them all. |
| Chunky chips - I told you I'd win the medal. You owe me dinner. Luv Chilli-dip |
| Tacky leather grip seeks stiff shaft for occasional flirtation with out of bounds. Ref 8/03. |
| I shank for Britain. Will you socket to me? Call (evenings only) 07805 381922 or write ref 18/03. I'm waiting for you. B. |
| Gentleman, weak left-hand, WLTM lady with dominant right hand to try out the interlocking grip. Ref 14/03 with photo or email me saynotovardon@aol.com |
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| Anything for Sale? |
| No more wet feet with Jean Van de Velde waterproof waders! Slip on easily over regular shoes and trousers. "I wish I'd had them in '99", says Jean! Ref 36/03. |
| Genuine Tiger memorabilia, including broken tee peg (white), used kleenex (dry), banana skin (shrivelled) and assorted divots. Write for catalogue quoting ref 9/03. |
| 50% off Ian Woosnam 2004 Ryder Cup captaincy souvenir mugs! Extra 20% for bulk orders. Ref 12/03. |
| Add 50 yards to your drives! Visit Drs. Snippet & Tuck, 37, Harley Street, for the latest in sex change operations (ref 11/03). In just three hours, you can play off the ladies' tees! Our post-op customers say "I used to need a 3-wood to reach the 15th. Now I'm so much nearer, I get home with a 7-iron!" Results guaranteed. Warning: side effects may vary from customer to customer. |
| Seve Ballesteros golfer's compass. You'll never be lost in the trees again with a course map and this pocket-sized compass! Ref 5/03 (PGA officials need not apply). |
| Caught short and no bushes? If you play on open parkland, you cannot afford to be without the Golfer's Portaloo. Fits discreetly inside any "pro"-style golfbag - your friends will think you're just hesitating over your choice of club as you take instant relief! Patent pending. Ref 10/03. (Sorry ladies - men's version only.) |
| Lost your knick-knacks? You'll always have somewhere to put loose change, ball marker, mobile phone, tee pegs with this handy golfer's pouch, lovingly crafted from genuine Skivertex by skilled Filipina teenagers. Choose your designer style from Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Chanel, Josh Arkwright, Paul Smith, Ralph Lauren, Lacoste, Kenzo, Burberry and many more. Ref 21/03. |
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| Anyone for Work? |
| Part-time caddie wanted for touring pro. Excellent eyesight and GSOH essential, most weekends free. Salary negotiable, but likely to include generous share of prize money. Ref 15/03. |
| Wanted: underwear testers. Leading UK manufacturer of sporting goods seeks amateur golfers of all levels (male and female) to test revolutionary new concepts in undergarments. Ref 1/03. |
| Anyone Thirsty? |
| Cheap beer? All major brands available. Call Reg on 07802 737855 (24 hours). Cash only. |
| Delicious home-brewed blackberry wine (Vve Wainwright & Fils), rated 97/100 by Robert Parker (MW - Dorking). All fruit guaranteed picked above waist height on famous British golf courses. Choose from Domaine Wentworth, Ch. Walton Heath, Prince's Creek, Turnberry Estates, Abbaye de Woburn and many more. Numerous vintages available. £5 per sample (20cls) plus full catalogue (P&P extra). Write quoting ref 4/03. Numbered bottles, limited quantity - first come, first served! |
| Anyone for Lessons? |
| C.R.A.P. Can't read a putt? Try the Moodie method, and you'll soon be dropping them on every hole! Results guaranteed or your money back. Ref 3/03. |
| Yes, we have no bananas! Cure that slice once and for all with state of the art electro-therapy-aided training. One weekend with Slicers Anonymous is usually enough for anyone. "I used to banana every drive, but now I never hit a ball right," says one satisfied cusomter. Ref 23/03. |
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