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Beer and Loafing in LOFT MastersA Savage Journey to the Heart of the Kiwi Fridge | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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The LOFT Masters Auckland Chapter is the first New Zealand based chapter of the Duffers Golf Club, and this is the true story of their Inaugural Golf Tournament on the weekend of 28th May to the 30th May, 2004, at the beautiful beachside town of Whangamata on the Coromandel Peninsula. First of all, an introduction to the members:
The weekend was organised by the Executive Committee of LOFT Masters; President & FD Carol Gordon, Vice-President & FD Liz Robertson, and Club Captain & FD Jane Macaulay. Other Lofters attending were FD Anna Macaulay, FD John Macaulay, AD (Associate Duffer) Tim Macaulay, AD Robbo (Andrew Robertson), and PD (Potential Duffer) Ian Gordon. The group were accommodated at the Elephant House (Robertson’s) and the Block House (Gordon’s), and Saturday's golf competition was between Lofters from the two houses.  On Friday evening the Chief Lofter (Carol) teed off proceedings once all members had gathered at the Block House. Glasses were raised in a toast to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth in honour of the country of origin of the Duffers Golf Club - England. It was unanimously decided that the loyal toast will be a feature of all future Duffers meetings at the Block House. The chapter then formally swore in the official mascot, LOFT Kiwi (right), who will be present at all future gatherings to ensure that traditions are upheld. This was followed by a discussion on the format for the weekend, more drinks and then dinner was served. Dinner was followed by more drinks, coffee, and more drinks. Fortunately the teeming rain and howling wind outside did not dampen the spirits of those inside the Block House as they anticipated a weekend of excellent drinks, coffee, more drinks and golf.The LOFT Masters played two games in the inaugural tournament. On Saturday afternoon they played at the 18 hole Titoki Golf Course, a picturesque course featuring a fast running stream, a major hazard which comes into play on eight of the 18 holes, making ball scoops an essential item in the golf bag. Large trees are another prominent feature on the course which would also come into play. On Sunday, the LOFT Masters played at the 9 hole Williamson Course, with the mid-morning tee times proving something of a challenge to certain "unwell" Lofters, the result of too much "fun" on Saturday night. The game on Saturday began with lunch and compulsory champagne at the Block House before the LOFT Masters made their way to the Titoki Course ready for tee off at 1.30p.m. Unfortunately the start of play was delayed and the game had to be shortened and eventually abandoned because of failing light. (We understand that this was in fact attributable to Mother Nature, and not Mother Carol's considerable generosity with the champagne - Ed.) The game was played by two teams of mixed pairs, one team from the Block House and the other from the Elephant House. All players drove on each hole, then partners played alternate shots to the pin. Each player was issued with a coloured ball; the men had bright pink balls (was it the weather?- Ed.) and the ladies fluorescent yellow. "Lofty" (AD Tim Macaulay), so named because he is 6ft. 6 in. tall and wears size 15 golf shoes, has a particular aversion to coloured balls and "spat the ball" after the first hole. He threw it into the stream and cursed those who tried to retrieve it. They failed, much to his relief, and the entire process became known over drinks afterwards as "Gelding the Lofty". A number of other notable events occurred during the afternoon. Novice Lofter, FD Anna, had to be given a medicinal swig of wine on the 7th tee to help her relax. Throughout the game Sorry Lofter (FD John Macaulay) kept apologising to his partner, Short Lofter, our 4ft. 11 in. tall (sic) Vice-President and FD Liz Robertson. On the 10th fairway Sorry Lofter drove his ball directly at a concrete lamp post causing the ball to ricochet straight back at him and requiring him to duck to avoid being quacked on the head. It was generally agreed that this could have killed him and quite spoiled his weekend, although leaving more Chardonnay to go round the other thirsty Lofters. (During Sunday’s match he made another direct hit on a tree trunk, and was later awarded the prize for "Most Dangerous Play"; four hours of compulsory viewing of Daffy Duck videos - that's all folks!) Loud Lofter, FD Jane, was very vocal at the 12th hole. As Club Captain she called (shouted) for a compulsory wine stop and all the Lofters enjoyed a refreshing half glass of chardonnay at that point - a somewhat disappointing performance from normally hardened players, but understandable after the excesses of the previous night. On the 8th hole, Chief Lofter FD Carol surprised herself and all playing with her by sinking a chip from off the green with a 5 iron. AD Tim Macaulay earned the name Cocky Lofter by using all of his 6ft 6 inches of height to make a spectacular drive from an elevated tee on the 16th hole, clearing the stream and a grove of 60 ft. high trees to land on the edge of the green. With some gentle coaching his partner Carol managed a useful chip on to the green, and with one putt each Carol and Tim made par. Unfortunately the 16th hole was the last one the Lofters played that day. The Chief Lofter made an executive decision that because of descending darkness the 17th hole should be missed out and the Lofters should play the 18th back to the clubhouse. The plan failed. After everyone had teed off FD Carol realized that no-one could play their second shot because their balls had disappeared in the dark - a typically dufferish situation. "Fortunately the clubhouse lights were still on so we could make our way towards those in order to find the car park and our cars. We needed to get home as we had to attend the Duffers Dinner that evening", she claimed later, although the other Lofters believed she was merely distraught about wasting so much good drinking time. On Saturday evening the Duffers' Dinner was held at the Elephant House. Of course the main topic of conversation was... golf, although the main activity was drinking. The wines were, by all accounts, delicious, and the main course, cooked by AD Robbo was also very tasty. On Sunday the LOFT Masters played the 9 hole Williamson Course. Playing in two groups of four, everyone kept their individual score and Stableford points. Apart from the FD John hitting some tree trunks dangerously, PD Ian playing in and around trees again, FD Carol losing her temper in the bunker on the 9th hole and FD Anna swearing under a tree on the 9th hole, this was a comparatively quiet match. The Associate Duffers, Tim and Andrew, managed to get "Nearest the Pin" on the 4th and the 9th holes respectively. In Duffers golf there are no prizes for good golfers, so these feats went unrewarded. Prize giving was held during lunch on Sunday, at which Prize Lofter AD Robbo (Andrew Robertson) officiated. In true Duffer style he awarded the following prizes to those who achieved the "Most" or the "Biggest".
No date has been set for the next LOFT Masters tournament, however all present expressed a keen interest in having another tournament in the near future. The ultimate prize, the GOLF BOY, will be keenly contested. The LOFT Masters look forward to competing with any other chapters of the D.G.C. who wish to challenge them in the future. For contact details, please click here. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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